If you are a millennial and grew up in the Myspace era, you may have some PTSD trying to think about your top friends and in what order you would rank them. Or, maybe you think there can only be one best friend in your life.
I used to think there could only be one a few years ago, until I lost that friendship and realized I was wrong. We all need different types of friendships for different reasons and stages in our life. It would be simply impossible to fulfill all of our relational needs through just one. It would also be impossible to rank them because they each hold a different place in my life.
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Making new friendships can be hard, but here are five must-have friendships that I have in my life!
Your Spouse
This one should be your most invested into friendship. Your spouse is your ultimate friend in life–they are the person you can be most vulnerable and intimate with. Like moms are a “home base” for their children, my husband is a home base for me. The dynamic of this really shouldn’t resemble any other relationship you have in your life.
The friendship you have with your spouse will also be the hardest to maintain. Living with someone is HARD work, and when you add children to the mix, it can be difficult to remember that you two were first friends before anything else life threw at you. Make sure you are investing the most into this one.
Your Soulmate Bestie
This friendship may look different for each of us. It’s the one where you cannot function without the other in your life. Your soulmate bestie knows exactly how you are feeling without needing to tell them. It is truly the rarest type of friendship that everyone needs. Life is hard. Having someone who understands you completely in every aspect of who you are makes it a little bit easier.
For me, this is the friendship I can run to without hesitation when I am in the deepest pits of depression. It is the friendship I immediately run to with every small and big inconvenience life brings. It is the first friendship I run to with both exciting and heartbreaking news before anyone else.
We simply feel that our souls were made to do life together.
Your Every Day Bestie
The every day friendship is going to be the friend you talk to the most and likely hang out with the most. Going a day without communicating would feel . . . wrong. Most days we are even talking on different platforms about different topics. It truly is an every day thing.
This is also likely the one that will do everyday life tasks with you. Need to run to Hobby Lobby, Target, and Carters? This is the person you are going to call to join you without hesitation.
Your “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay” Bestie
Sometimes we just need someone to tell us it is OKAY to be feeling what we are feeling. Not someone who wants to fix it or offer advice. Just someone to sit with you in the moment like “yeah, this does suck.”
I would have to guess this is a fairly new type of friendship that not everyone may have. This friendship is safe though. For me, it’s the one I can openly express very violent intrusive thoughts caused by postpartum anxiety. The thoughts can be dark and holding it in does not help. Find a friend you can tell those things with no judgement.
Your Couple Besties
Along with your spouse, I think it is important to have a friendship with another couple in similar stages of life as you. These are the friends you will travel and take the kids on fun vacations with. You can talk about marriage things and parenting things together.
Sometimes it is nice to hang out with friends outside of your marriage, but I find so much joy in being able to invest into the group friendship and share it as a whole family.
It would be next to impossible to make a true list of all the different friendships needed in the human experience.
Yours may look completely different, and that is okay! Always be thankful for each friendship you have in life.
They come and go, and each will hold a piece of your heart forever. Some friendships may teach you things about life and yourself, and others will simply bring joy. Embrace them all.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
