Please check out Parts 1 and 2 of my Pregnancy Over 40 series.
Even though this was my fifth baby, it was my first experience with preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome, an epidural, a c-section, and a preemie baby. Processing an unexpected c-section and NICU stay can take time. I hope these takeaways can help.
The Background
At 34 weeks pregnant, I was admitted to Lovelace Women’s Hospital. I had preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome which came on quickly. After an overnight attempt at induction, early the next morning my doctor determined the best route would be a c-section. That was a relief.
C-Section Prep Takeaway: Try to focus on all the positive, even funny, moments along the way.
I got prepped for the c-section and was wheeled into the operating room while my husband suited up. It was time for the epidural. This was my first, but I had heard stories, and years ago I had the privilege to doula for a friend. I was there for her entire birth, including an unplanned c-section. It was now my turn. I was nervous but tried to stay relaxed. It was administered quickly and without pain. The anesthesiologist said I did great and asked if I could teach a class! I don’t know what I said but I thought, “I bet he says that to all the ladies!” But I’m so thankful to God for this little relief considering what was coming.
C-Section Takeaway: Don’t hesitate to ask questions!
After I got positioned for the c-section, the nurses put up the curtains. It is surreal being awake for surgery! Although I tried to drown them out, I heard interesting sounds. I tried hard not to see anything but ended up catching a glimpse from the big lights above. Then I looked away quickly, prayed, and tried to stay calm. I knew it would be over soon. Reading about a fellow mom’s experience resonated with me. Having my husband with me was very helpful. I could hear conversations while they also talked me through the process. At some point, there was rap music playing in the background. I didn’t know music would be played, so I recommend putting your request in beforehand! I didn’t mind though.
» » » » » RELATED READ: My Two Preemie Birth Stories + Tips for Supporting Parents « « « « «
The moment then came when my husband said, “There he is!” Baby didn’t cry right away, but after a few minutes of the docs rubbing him, I heard his first cry. They handed him to my husband and then brought him to me for a few seconds. We got a couple of photos, and then he was whisked away. He was six weeks early and was very small, weighing 3.5 lbs. I knew both he and I would be in the hospital for a while.
C-Section Recovery Takeaway: Don’t hesitate to ask family and friends for help.
Initial Observations
My husband and I settled into our room. He planned to stay with me every day and leave to check on our other children as much as possible. The hospital really made it pleasant for us as I didn’t have time to pack a hospital bag. My mom stepped in not only to help with our other children but to pack the list of items I sent to her. Having my own personal items including clothes, blankets, and more made the stay more comfortable. Being there made it easier to recover and see our baby. Hubby and I had a lot of time together to process things. We even included a laptop movie date night!
Day-to-Day
I never imagined a c-section quite like it was. And I’m sorry if I ever thought it was an easy way out of labor! It is major surgery with major recovery. I remember the pain being very severe. First from the bloating that hurt more than the incision. Then the incision pain. That first day I couldn’t even move easily in the hospital bed.
I didn’t know the effect that medication and lack of sleep could have. Sometimes I would start dreaming the instant I closed my eyes! Sleep was difficult because I had to take medication on a schedule. I also had blood drawn several times each day by the nurses I started to call “vampires.” I had great nurses, and believe me, I saw A LOT of them! Everyone was different in their own way, but each was patient and kind. Interestingly, besides some wonderful nurses and the docs, two people who stood out were the cafeteria workers who brought me my meals! Talk about how far a joyful countenance shared by a big SMILE could go.
» » » RECOMMENDED RESOURCE: Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy and Postpartum in ABQ « « «
My family came to visit me, and my husband brought our other children to see me after a couple of days. We showed them pictures of the baby, and they looked forward to when we would be home. For me, that was coming soon, for the baby, they would have to wait a couple more weeks!
Discharge
Due to the preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome, the docs needed to make sure all my levels were improving, and my organs were in the clear. Closer to my release date, I had to take Lovenox to help prevent blood clots. I had to refuse the last couple because they were too painful. At that point, I had been poked far too many times. Every day I got better and more mobile, and we finally got the word I would be discharged. I was in the hospital for a total of six days. It made it easier to see the baby, but I was so ready to be released.
Going home to our other children was a blessing because I missed them so much and knew they needed me. At the hospital, our baby was receiving the care he needed. Since I was at home, I had some extra time to recover without the baby but missed him so much! At some point, our church family started bringing meals which was a huge help. We live 10.5 miles away from the hospital, but even if it was less, it was still too far. But, I was able to rest and continue my recovery which had no complications. I was on pain and blood pressure meds but tapered off them slowly. The numbness over the incision site lasted for at least a couple of months. I forget about it now unless I catch a glimpse of it in the mirror.
NICU Takeaway: Everyone involved with baby’s care wants baby to go home asap too.
After I got my bearings the day our son was born, I was wheeled to the NICU to see him. Dad had already had a visit before me.
Initial Observations
We quickly learned NICU etiquette. All guests would ring the front desk at the security doors, give their medical number, and then go through two doors. Before entering, you had to wear masks and wash your arms and hands in the sinks outside the doors. It was not a very quiet place. There was constant noise from machines, other babies, visitors, docs, nurses, and staff passing through. But the baby had his own room separated by curtains, and they made sure we were comfortable. My first visit went very well. To our surprise, when I breastfed for the first time, he latched on like a pro! But we then had challenges after that day as we couldn’t have time together for every feeding because I couldn’t make it as often as I would have liked.
Day-to-Day
Baby was on a strict schedule, and I had to get used to that. I tried to arrive at the beginning of a feeding session so I could breastfeed first. Other times I tried to be there on bath days. Sometimes he would be asleep, and I had to stop myself from just picking him up. While there, I learned that others visited the babies too. There was someone who came to sing, pray, and hold him. We got some goodies from March of Dimes and hand-made hats and blankets! We could also have visitors come with us, but just two of us at a time. All those things helped ease the hard stuff.
Having a baby in the NICU is super hard! First physically not being able to be with baby all the time is tough and emotional. On top of that, you are physically exhausted from surgery. I have no doubt it is hard on baby. But they are little warriors. Why can’t they sleep that good through noise and on schedule at home?
Every day is long, and I had to have self-control to not ask when I could take him home. The concern each day is how much was baby eating and how much weight he was gaining or losing. Some days he had a feeding tube, others he did not. Okay . . . he pulled it out several times and they went with it until he needed it again. Some days there was progress, and some days there was regression. All this weighs on you.
The staff and nurses in the NICU are amazing, and we met a lot of them! Even though it was hard to have baby there, we knew that he was in great hands, and that made it easier.
NICU Takeaway: That was hard but we got through it stronger than before.
Discharge
Release day was approaching for our little one. He was eating well and gaining weight, but first, there were some logistics to take care of. We had to watch a baby safety video on CPR and Shaken Baby Syndrome. Then we had to pass a car seat test. After the logistics and a 21-day NICU stay, our son was released! It was such a sweet time having his siblings meet him and give him lots of kisses and love which continues to this day, almost 11 months later! Even though he was a preemie, he is all caught up! He is perfecting his crawl, loves trying new foods as well as mommy’s “milkies,” and he is overall a happy baby.
We are so thankful that we are all well!
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
