We’re back with another unpopular opinion. Let us know in the comments if you agree or disagree.
I make sure that I look my best for my husband.
I know how that sounds. Believe me. You are probably thinking, “He should love you in anything you wear.” And he does.
I used to put on my PJs as soon as I walked through the door. Hair up, makeup off, comfy clothes on. It’s like that song that goes, “Hair tie sweatpants, chillin’ with no makeup on, that’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong.” Except that isn’t when I’m the prettiest. And he deserves me at my best. My husband never commented either way, because he is kind and he loves me. But that is not my point.
I’m one of those women who dress to the 9s almost every day. You know, the one that others roll their eyes at? Yes, that’s me. I feel most comfortable in chic heels and red lipstick. Oftentimes, I am tired when I get home from work. I used to just wash the day off and cozy up. My husband never said anything. He loves me. He knows I’m tired. One day I realized I was becoming complacent though. Everyone else who sees me during the day gets to see the made-up version. What makes him different? He deserves for me to look my best.
Oftentimes people wonder what went wrong in a relationship. When did the spark burn out? I’ll tell you that nothing dims your shine more than giving up on your appearance. Did my husband start dating the woman with a messy ponytail in sweatpants? No. Does he see plenty of beautiful women each day? Probably. I’m not saying that every single man is tempted by beautiful women, but why look frumpy for him when I look different for others? I think it’s a bit disrespectful.
Like, here, you get the less polished version, and maybe you can have a smile or two, because I’m exhausted.
My husband has a saying he lives by. “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.” And he is right. I believe in giving 110% to everything I do. This includes investing in my husband. And if that includes wearing my makeup, heels, and work clothes a little longer, so be it. There are worse things in this world.
I also was raised looking up to two grandmas who never let anyone see them looking less than presentable. Lipstick, always. Hair looks beautiful every day. Clothes are pressed and pretty. They believe that looking made up is a sign of respect. And I agree with them.
Now before you think that I am judging you in your yoga pants and oversized hoodie, I’m not. You should see me right now. I’m still in PJs hair is up. And I’m sitting at my desk with a heating pad on my lap because I’m cold. I went to drop off with a fedora hat, messy side bun, no makeup other than red lipstick. Just so you know, I’m not perfect at this all the time.
I’m also an avid hiker and runner. So he will catch me in workout clothes.
But I try to keep my makeup and hair done. If all else fails with my hair, I wear a hat. My other outfit choices consist of lots of fedoras, loose-fitting tanks, and different colored jeans.
Now I don’t know if this initiative of mine has even boosted our spark, or if it was more of the kids no longer being babies, intentional living with each other, or all of the above. But this is a small step that I took. I also realized it makes me feel better about myself. I feel more productive when I don’t feel messy.
There is a time and a place. If I didn’t have to constantly meet with clients, didn’t have a strong social media presence, and did nothing but playdates like I did when my son was young, I’m sure I wouldn’t be writing this. In Houston, my everyday look would go from yoga pants, a coffee mug, and a messy bun, to heels, slacks, a blazer, and a blouse on any given day. And some people look super cute that way.
But if you go back to the first paragraph, this is more about me not putting my best foot forward for clients and then scaling it back for my husband. He deserves to look at the woman he married, not the woman who gave up because she has three kids, works full time, and networks like a crazy person. He deserves the version of me that everyone else gets, and more.
Originally published January 2020
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The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.