It’s no secret that when you have kids, it can be really hard to find time to connect with your partner.
Date nights can be few and far between. There are so many barriers: from finding child care to finding room in your budget to simply finding the energy.
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Despite all those barriers, most of us still crave that romantic connection in our relationships. In my experience, finding romance in your marriage is about so much more than a special dinner out, dressing up in fancy clothes, or even sex. I think it’s about really prioritizing each other, seeing one another, and being light and playful in our everyday lives.
So I suggest not waiting for that special night you schedule once a month to revive that romantic connection. Instead, nourish it every day in small ways.
To show you just how simple this can be, I’ll give you three of my favorite ways to spend time with my husband. Even the busiest of couples can fit these moments of connection into their lives.
1) Go to Costco Together
Remember when you were in high school or college and you’d go out shopping with your friends just for fun? This is kind of like that–except you probably have a baby, a toddler, maybe a couple of kids with you. You see, you can do this even WITH the kids. Here’s the fun part. Instead of just sticking to your list, walk down every aisle like you’re a couple from the TV show Bridgerton out for a promenade. Chat. Make jokes about the silly products. People watch. Try every sample. Flirt with each other like you did when you were first dating. I promise you’ll leave that place feeling more connected.
2) Impromptu Movie Night
This one is SO EASY. Do you watch TV after the kids go to bed most nights? We do! We usually get in a rut and watch an entire series, one episode a night. All I’m suggesting is that, on any given night, you simply choose a movie to watch instead. Maybe check out this list of best date night movies from Netflix. Make yourself a special snack or drink, cuddle up on the couch, and just enjoy a spontaneous (almost sneaky) date in the middle of the week. It’s your call if you’re going to shut it off early and resume tomorrow night after the kids are down or if you’re going to be bad and sacrifice a little sleep for a little more time snuggling on the couch. Either way, sharing a slightly special experience with your partner is a small way to foster romantic connection right there in the middle of a mundane weeknight.
Decide what kind of workout you can both enjoy, figure out what to do with your kiddos, and make it happen once a week. You could lift weights, go for a walk, run, hike, bike ride, swim, or practice yoga. Whatever you can both enjoy. You can find a gym with child care, put the kids in a stroller and bring them along, or let them play at the park while you do a quick body-weight workout. The key is to get creative and make a routine that works for YOU. The shared sense of accomplishment is so nice to experience with the person you love. A bonus to this one is that working out makes you both feel healthier and more confident–which can benefit your sex life too.
I hope my suggestions will encourage you to think outside the date night box and start looking for simple ways to build romance and connection into your routines.
For more creative date ideas, check out this article about “dating” Albuquerque!
And for inspiration on creating the routines that work best for you and your partner, read about “5 Weird Things That Make Our Marriage Less Stressful”!
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.