After giving birth to my wonderful daughter, I felt different. I had so many responsibilities as a new mother. Every day I got stuck in the monotony of this new life. I always wanted to be a mother; I didn’t think I would feel so different and I would begin to crave the excitement that I had in my life when I was not a mother. Everything had changed. I felt trapped and confined to my little world of changing diapers, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, and doing this over and over again for what seemed like a lifetime.
And I desired to feel sexy again!
I didn’t feel sexy being a mother because of the weight gain and the insecurities that it brought. Becoming a mother brought a different kind of stress I never knew existed, and all I wanted to do was go back to being that young girl who weighed 127 pounds, who would dress up no matter what day it was, who would gather girlfriends to go out, and who loved meeting new people. I was a free bird then, and that’s what made me feel sexy.
I am a cancer in the zodiac world. This means I am emotional, intuitive, creative, and highly attuned to love and physical sensation. I knew something had to change, and I had to be the one to make the change. I wanted to feel a certain way! In order to feel alive, I needed to feel something deep down in my core.
My daughter always made me feel alive, but I’m talking about the desires of a woman. Aside from being a mom, I remembered I’m also a woman who desired to be seen and loved. I forgot how to be vulnerable, soft, and sexy because I was always in mom mode. I cringed when I saw other women who were sexy and confident because it made me feel worse about myself.
Besides being a mother, I am a woman, and I discovered that women are multifaceted, powerful, experienced, and sexy. I took my experiences and explored other ways to feel sexy.
I discovered that even being a mother, I can feel sexy again.
Connecting to my mind, body, and soul provided self-realization. I used the five senses to help me feel sexy again. Now, I can look at myself in the mirror and say, “I am sexy! I feel sexy!” I had a rush of self-love!
Smell, touch, sound, taste, and sight are the five senses we humans use to gather and respond to information about our environment. I used each one to gather information about what made me feel alive and sexy!
I found the perfect perfume that suits me. When I wear it, I definitely feel sexy. I began gardening and touching the soil, and the plants were so invigorating, I needed this in my life every day. I even began to name my plants, and through them, I feel alive. Music, comedy, and conversations with others allowed me to feel so many emotions that we experience in our lives. I began trying new food and having food that nourished my body along with drinking more water.
I also took myself to places where I could have an exotic cocktail, coffee, or matcha. Sometimes I created a special drink for myself because I knew it would have me feeling the way I desired. Lastly, my environment must nurture me. I travel to locations or create a space where I know all my senses will be fulfilled at the same time. This brings ultimate bliss and satisfaction.
I realized it wasn’t that I just wanted to feel sexy again, I wanted to feel alive. I am now the creator of my experiences. What I desire as a woman, as a mother, and as a human being, I will get!
“I feel, therefore I am.”
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
