Embrace Your Space with Just You in It


Moms, we need to embrace our space with just us in it. 

What is space? When my kids were younger, I remember feeling like I would never have my own space. Even now, our youngest who is seven manages to practically sit on you when she wants to sit next to you. I tell her that I need my arm to function, and she scooches over a bit, but just a bit. Our older ones who are 15, 17, and 20 aren’t as snuggly anymore. 

I’ve been a mom for a long time. I’ve been a mom for longer than I have not been a mom. My kids were usually always with me. Now that they’re older, I’m learning that they grow and spread their wings and that, while I love being with them, I also enjoy space away from them.

» » » » »  RELATED READ: I Made My Own Sandwich, Mom :: Grief in Kids Growing Up  « « « « «

I am learning to embrace my space, with only me in it. 

I will admit that this space feels awkward at times. The moments when I don’t have all four kids with me are becoming more and more frequent. Truth be told, it feels like I’m forgetting someone somewhere. I have to do a quick inventory to remind myself that I should in fact only have one or two of them. Or, now that school is back in session, none.

As I was running errands today, the cashier asked me how it felt to be shopping alone. When your local Target employees know you and your kids, it may mean something. No shame.

My answer to her was “it feels weird.”

No one was asking me to buy another unnecessary toy or a bag of hot chips that I swear is going to burn a hole in their stomachs. I wasn’t asking people to please walk faster so we can get done or dodging carts coming at my ankle because the teenager isn’t paying attention. (On another side note, when shopping with your kids, get into the habit of putting one heel off the ground when you stop. It’s great at stopping carts and will save you some pain.)

Embrace Your Space With Just You In ItOur “space” or our alone time might look different for different moms.

A cup of coffee alone.

Quiet time in the morning before everyone wakes up.

A walk on your lunch break where you aren’t being requested to do things.

Shoot, even moments alone in the bathroom can be space away. 

Embrace your space with just you in it!

Our space is what we make it, what works for us in whatever season we are in.

After I thought about it, I realized that it was, in fact, weird, but it was also nice. Having space away from our kids and our families is necessary.

When I say space, it doesn’t always mean that we can be in different locations. There have been plenty of days when this space is one room away, with me enjoying the quiet after bedtime. Or getting to the pick-up line a bit earlier and listening to my book or music. This is us enjoying the space around us before we switch gears back to the supermoms that we are.

I love our moments together and watching them grow into bigger humans. But I want and need my time too. I, we, need to embrace our space with just us in it. 

The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.

Previous articleGuide to Family-Friendly Hikes in the Albuquerque Area
Next articleMama, You Are the Magic
Tonya Ellison
Tonya is a wife and a mom of 4, ranging from college to kindergarten. Having lived in New Mexico long enough to say she’s from here, Tonya finds beauty in the New Mexican community and enjoys soaking it in with her family. Tonya has worked outside of the home in the end-of-life field for the past 13 years and has taught online graduate classes on grief and bereavement for the past year. Doing this work has allowed Tonya to appreciate each day she’s given and is a motivation to live life to its fullest. Her kids keep her busy as a sports mom and most weekends she can be seen (or heard) in the stands of a basketball or football game. Having kids in different developmental stages has taught Tonya a great deal about motherhood, and no matter how old or young your kids are she feels it’s important to know that moms matter. Follow Tonya on Instagram.