Navigating Perfectionism, Doing It All, and Mom Guilt


I developed the mom guilt bug a few weeks after my daughter was born. It was time for me to get back into working. I had a subscription box I needed to get out, designs that needed to be made, and loads of laundry that needed to get done. I wanted to hold her forever, but I knew that I had to put her down. So I started on this endless quest to find how I can get my life together so that I can DO IT ALL! 

Navigating Through Perfectionism, Doing It All, and Mom Guilt

Well, one thing about doing it all is that you can’t do it well. One thing will always take precedence over the other, even if it’s just for a moment. 

Let me tell you, the search for how to have it all together is stressful. I’ve read the posts, watched the videos, and listed out all the things. The conclusion that I’ve come to is that we never really have everything figured out. 

We never find the balance we are searching for or the answer to the burning questions of how to juggle it all flawlessly. There is just nothing flawless about juggling life when motherhood is in the mix.  

Instead, it’s a matter of embracing where we are and realizing each season of life will change how we navigate through DOING IT ALL.

As a business owner, work from home mommy, wife, daughter, sister, and friend, life is hectic. It’s easy to get pulled in 50,000 directions and feel like I’m spread thin.

Over the last year, I realized a few things about “having it all together.”

Realize that everything will not be perfect. In fact, it almost adds more stress when you think it will be perfect. It’s easy to strive for perfection, but all it does is set us up for disappointment. It makes us realize that we aren’t living up to the expectations we place on ourselves. So why do we do it? Every picture we try to take will not be magazine cover quality, but it will be a memory we can cherish for a lifetime. 

In being hard on ourselves, we take away from the life that is being lived in front of us.

Our children and family dynamic will not be this way again, so embrace that! Yes, you need to get lunches together for tomorrow or type that email for work. I know that load of laundry needs to get finished, but I just want to cuddle with my daughter and that’s fine. 

There will be time for all of those things. Don’t be so hard on what all you have to do. Lighten up and enjoy the moments being lived. I am saying this to myself as I say it to you because we are superwomen. But it’s ok to slow down and enjoy the moment. 

We hear this all the time that self-care is so important, and it is. What I have learned is that we deserve to have the chance to take care of ourselves. We deserve to make time for what we love to do. However, make it a regular thing. Find ways to incorporate the little pleasures you enjoy in your everyday life. It doesn’t have to be just because it’s a special occasion. It should be a habit to care for yourself.

Fill your cup and it will make the love you have to give so much sweeter. 

Overall, these are lessons that I am constantly working on. It can be hard to just DO these things when you have a want to have it all together. Having it all together is just finding the balance in the season of life you are in. That balance is not perfect, and it can change from day today. 

There are some days I am laser-focused on all things to do with my toddler ,and there are some days where I have to really focus on work. That’s just life.  

That sense of mom guilt creeps in when you realize, “Oh I’m doing something that is taking away from the attention to my child.”

Mom guilt is a liar.

But the fact that you have it just shows that you love and care for them so much. 

If you are reading this, read the following aloud:

I am an amazing mom! I am an amazing woman! Although sometimes I may find myself overwhelmed or have fallen short of what I expected to do, that’s fine. I am an amazing woman! My ultimate goal is to love, and I do that well! I do the best that I can and that is more than enough. I am amazing!

You are an amazing woman!


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perfectionism, mom guilt, doing it all

Originally published March 2020.