Fill your cup first so that you can feel your best in order to give your best self to your loved ones.
We cannot give from an empty cup. Filling our cup is crucial, not selfish. Moms take on the worry, the workload, the care and feeding, the nurturing, and everything in between.
A few weeks ago my husband jokingly said that I have been having a “Self-Care Quarter,” and he is not wrong. It has been more like a self-care year. I have begun to spend time each day making sure I am my best self for myself and for my family. That is a great thing because so often we give the outside world the best of us and our family is left with the rest of us. That phrase has really resonated with me, and while we cannot heal our traumas overnight or be the perfect partner or parent, we can most definitely take steps to bettering ourselves.
Write a to-do list, and schedule time for yourself every day.
This has become a non-negotiable for me. We are pulled in so many directions, and as mothers, we have the mental load of hoping we are juggling it all correctly and raising amazing, kind, and loving members of society. It’s a lot.
I like lists. I don’t always complete every task on my list every day, but if I write it down, I can get it out of my head and remove some of the clutter from my mind to be more focused throughout the day. My lists are divided into sections of:
- Food/Meal Prep
- Positive Affirmations
At the end of the day, I may not have accomplished all of the things like getting the laundry all the way from the hamper, to the washer, to the dryer, folded, and put away. But by writing it down, you are visualizing your goals, and in doing so, you are manifesting the reality.
Writing down your goals reinforces them in your mind and helps you stay motivated while also having a visual representation and allowing your mind to see the tasks being completed. I will write an article on visualizations and positive affirmations soon. (See what I did there.) Try it!
Find a workout that you love.
Taking care of your body is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. Building a strong foundation and caring for the physical body that has to get you through this life is a choice. It’s so important to care for your body and build an optimally performing vessel to live in.
Even more important than the exterior results we get from working out are the internal. By exercising, you are releasing dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins, and opening neural pathways by bringing more blood to the brain and delivering the nutrients and oxygen flow your brain needs to function cognitively. You will sleep better, think better, perform better, feel better, and be less stressed by working out.
» » » RELATED READ: I Tried Different Types of Self-Care and Here’s What I Discovered « « « «
Find a workout that you love by trying different forms of exercise. Find a friend to take a yoga, pilates, or barre class together. Join a gym and take a group class, get some weights and resistance bands, or find workouts online that you can do at home. Go on a bike ride, take a hike, or start small by taking a 30-minute walk every day. When you wake up, stretch and do some squats, push-ups, and sit-ups in your bedroom. Do anything, but start today.
Take yourself on a date.
Just go with me on this one. Plan a me-date. Grab a book and go to your favorite restaurant or go see a movie you have been wanting to see all by yourself. Alone time is a recharge. Trust me.
Make time for daily intimacy with your partner.
Now before you jump down my throat, all kinds of intimacy are good, like making sure to acknowledge how much you appreciate your partner and speak their love language so they know you care. Also, a healthy sex life is definitely going to fill both of your cups. I’m just saying.
Get a facial.
Let’s face it, we aren’t getting any younger, and we need to take care of our skin. Regular facials are not only an incredible self-indulgence but make us look and feel better too, so it’s a win-win-win. My favorite place to go is Santosha. I love the Signature Facial and the massage that comes with it. Dreamy.
Plan monthly date nights.
Keep the romance alive in your relationship and plan romantic dates. Never stop dating your partner because fostering your relationship is essential to a happy home life. When the kids are grown and move away, you want to make sure you spoil each other too. Some great local places are Level 5 at Hotel Chaco, Vintage 423, Zinc Winebar, and Sawmill Market.
Go wine tasting.
Grab some friends or your significant other and hit up a local winery. My favorite is Casa Rondeña in Los Ranchos. You will be transported once you enter the grounds. The wine is really great, and the atmosphere is even better.
Have a spa party.
You deserve it! A day of pampering is just what you need to unwind and feel incredible. Invite some girlfriends to join you for a spa day at a local hotel or day spa or take a drive to Ojo Caliente in Santa Fe which is a really great spot and not far from home. This is a fun way to get in some girl time and also unwind and feel amazing.
Get a couples massage.
Spoil yourselves! What a romantic and relaxing way to spend quality time with your significant other. There are so many amazing spas locally and some even better spa weekend options just a short drive to Santa Fe or Ojo Caliente, NM! Ojo Caliente and Sunrise Springs are great options for a spa day or getaway
Take a girls’ trip.
Pick a destination and plan it, then invite your friends to join. The more the merrier, but small and intimate is amazing too. Moms, it takes a village to fill our cups sometimes. What better village than your besties?
» » » » » RECOMMENDED RESOURCE: Guide to Date Night in the Albuquerque Area « « « « «
Go out with friends.
Plan a night with your significant other and some friends. We are so busy with the daily grind and running our kids around to all of their activities. Make sure to schedule your own play dates too!
Go to bed early.
This one is another non-negotiable for me. Thankfully I have a saint of a husband who takes care of the nighttime routine. He gets the boys showered, makes sure they brush their teeth, reads to them, prays with them, and then tucks them in, and that is perfection. Did I mention my love language is acts of service? Mama needs her beauty sleep and nighttime face routine. Just go to bed early when you can because a good night’s sleep is a gift.
Self-care isn’t selfish.
You are a mother that does it all. Even if you think you are failing every day, you’re not. There is such a mental load that comes with motherhood, and raising children isn’t easy, but there is no greater joy in the world. It is okay to make sure you are well taken care of and that you are a priority. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself so that you can give your family the very best of you.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.