Have you seen Inside Out 2 yet? It was moving, and it reminded me of my preteen and teen years, struggling with those simple emotions as well as the more complex emotions.
Those were the times when core memories were made. They shaped my life or my “core character tree.” This is what Inside Out 2 has called core memories that shape who we are as a person.
This movie reminded me of the core memories that make me who I am today. These memories come from my teen and preteen years.
What makes my core character tree?
Take a read, and let me know if you can relate or if you are a completely different person. We are all unique, and I love to learn about other people’s journeys in life.
Jade’s Core Character Tree
Kindness to Others
I grew up in a Christian religion that taught me to do unto others as . . . something something. This taught me that I needed to always be kind. Service to others was kind. Smiling to others was kind. I babysit or cook dinner for others to feel that good feeling inside. Helping others and being kind to others has always been a core character in my tree.
When I was 12 years old, I went to a church-run girl’s camp for the first time. I witnessed other girls pulling pranks on each other. I loved practical jokes and laughing as long as no one got hurt since I had brothers. We did pranks all the time. We jumped out at each other from around the corner.
» » RELATED READ: Inside Out 2: Understanding and Reflecting on My Emotions at 32 « « «
But these older girls were mean. These girls would shave off eyebrows or superglue pajamas while others were sleeping. I remember those pranks because they were the meanest ones. I didn’t want that to happen to me. And I never wanted to do that to someone else. I wanted to be kind.
Body Awareness
During this preteen stage of my life, my body was changing. I started growing boobs and my period started. I started having to wear a bra. Guess where my period started? That’s right, at girl’s camp.
I felt unprepared. I didn’t remember anything that anyone tried to teach me. Did anyone teach me? I thought I was dying and decided to hide in the bathroom and die alone. People did check on me. And I did receive pads and tampons (that I had no clue what to do with). I was too embarrassed to talk about this with anyone and tried to learn on my own.
When I was in 5th grade, I got attention (and noticed/remembered) for wearing a pretty dress to school. I loved that feeling. So I wore it again the very next day.
My classmates told me that I was gross for wearing the same clothes two days in a row and that I probably didn’t even take a shower. I went home that day and started brushing my hair and taking showers daily because I became aware of other people looking at me and my appearance.
I told you all that I grew up in a Christian, church-going family. This also entails, for me, that I was a modest young lady. I grew up learning that I couldn’t show my shoulders, thighs, stomach, cleavage, and back. I was taught that “my body is a temple.” This made me very aware that my body was being noticed. My prom dresses had sleeves, and I wore one-piece swimsuits.
I hid my body. I didn’t value my body. And I didn’t think I was beautiful in any way. But I knew that my body was to be covered from others and, I thought, myself. Things get confusing when you are a young person.
Adherence to Rules and Laws
Being in a Christian and Military family growing up, there were a lot of rules, guidelines, commandments, etc. I learned to follow rules and not question them. Rules were rules, and they were there to keep me safe. . . from the enemy, the police, or the devil. I was scared of the consequences. If I didn’t follow the commandments, I could go to Hell. If I didn’t follow the military rules, I could go to jail. I didn’t want either of those.
My parents taught me not to ruin my future with bad choices. I wanted to be like my dad and join the Air Force. If I messed up in any way, my dreams would be crushed.
I am the second and a middle child out of four. I created trouble. Remember those “pranks”? That was me. I would ask my parents uncomfortable questions at the dinner table just to do it while the whole family was there. And I would ensure that I wouldn’t get caught if I thought about doing something bad. I would hang out with other kids who smoked, but I wouldn’t. That’s how I told myself that I was okay, that I was still following the rules.
Those “friends” that I would hang out with . . . they would end up in jail. I always saw the good in people. Even people that others labeled “bad.” I would befriend the outsiders. I was kind to everyone. But I saw some friends go to jail. I saw friends get in trouble. I remembered them getting taken away from their lives and didn’t want that to happen to my life because I was scared.
So, these are just some of the things that make my core character tree from my preteen/teen ages. Of course, I have learned and grown a lot since then.
What about you? Do you have memories pop up that made you who you are today?
And just so you know, you are exactly who you are supposed to be.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
