How to Talk to Kids About Nicotine

I’ll be honest: talking to my kids about nicotine is hard.

Not because I don’t believe in being open and honest with them. I do. But because nicotine use isn’t some distant issue in our lives. We have friends and family members who use nicotine. These are people we love and respect. I don’t want to shame them, and I don’t want my kids to feel like they’re supposed to judge the adults around them.

Still, avoiding the conversation doesn’t feel like an option either.

As parents, our job isn’t to pretend nicotine doesn’t exist. It’s to help our kids understand the risks, think critically, and make healthy choices, even when the reality around them is complicated.

Why This Conversation Matters Especially in New Mexico

Nicotine use among kids and teens is still a real issue here at home.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in New Mexico:

• 18.3% of high school students use e-cigarettes

• 3.2% of high school students smoke cigarettes

• About 2,800 kids under 18 try cigarettes for the first time each year

• Smoking contributes to nearly 24% of all cancer deaths in our state

These numbers aren’t meant to scare kids, but they’re important context for parents. Nicotine isn’t harmless, and it’s especially risky for developing brains.

How I Approach the Conversation (Without Knocking People We Love)

One thing I’ve learned: it’s okay to separate the behavior from the person.

I tell my kids things like:

• “Some people we love use nicotine, and that doesn’t make them bad people.”

• “Nicotine is addictive, and many adults started when they were young.”

• “Our job is to help you understand why it’s not a healthy choice for you.”

That distinction matters. It keeps the conversation grounded in empathy, not judgment. And it keeps kids from tuning us out.

Simple, Research-Backed Tips for Talking to Kids About Nicotine

These ideas are informed by guidance from the American Lung Association created in partnership with child psychologists.

1. Ask First, Talk Second

Start with curiosity:

• “What have you heard about vaping?”

• “Do kids at school talk about it?”

Listening first builds trust.

2. Be Clear, but Not Dramatic

You don’t need scare tactics. Stick to facts:

• Nicotine is addictive

• It affects mood, focus, and brain development

• Vapes, cigarettes, and nicotine pouches all contain nicotine, even if they don’t say it clearly

3. Blame Big Tobacco, Not Your Kid

Large tobacco companies spend billions of dollars designing and marketing products that appeal to young people to create lifelong customers. That’s why e-cigarettes come in sweet, fruity flavors. They were created to be appealing. Reminding your child that you’re on the same team when it comes to these companies can help shift the conversation from “rules” to awareness.

• Ask kids, “Have you seen advertisements for e-cigaraettes?”

4. Connect to What They Care About

Help your child connect the dots between their choices now and the future they care about. Talk about how vaping can quietly interfere with things that matter to them—whether that’s sports, school, or long-term goals.

• You might say something like: “You love playing [sport]. Vaping can damage your lungs and make it harder to do the things you enjoy. Is that a risk you want to take with something important to you?”

5. Keep the Door Open & Keep the Conversation Ongoing

Let your kids know they can come to you even if they’ve already been exposed or tried something. And plan to talk about this topic multiple times, not just once.

Support for New Mexico Families

If you’re looking for additional guidance and practical tools, Nicotine Free New Mexico is hosting an upcoming virtual learning opportunity specifically for parents.

Parents Against Vaping e-Cigarettes (PAVe): Origin Story + Vaping 101
February 23, 2026
12:00–1:00 p.m. MT
Online via Zoom

This free session will help parents better understand today’s youth nicotine landscape, including e-cigarettes, nicotine pouches, and cannabis vapes, while offering practical strategies for talking with kids, navigating school policies, and supporting prevention and cessation efforts. It’s an accessible, informative way to feel more confident and prepared as a parent.

Parents can learn more and sign up by emailing [email protected].

* The word tobacco throughout this article refers to commercial tobacco and not the sacred and traditional use of tobacco by certain American Indian communities.