The time had finally come when my husband and I felt “ready” for a second child. I am not sure one is ever truly 100% ready for a child, or another child for that matter. But we both felt it was time to begin the process at the end of 2023. My ego boasted that it would be easy and done on the first attempt. But a month passed, and I was not pregnant. Then three months passed . . . still not pregnant. Then about 10 months passed, and I still did not see a positive pregnancy test.
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I knew to some extent it could be different this time around. With our son, we did not experience the waiting period we are experiencing conceiving our second child. I will never forget the feelings of sadness I feel when I get my period or a pregnancy test is negative. It is not easy when you want something so badly and it doesn’t happen right away.
In my heart, I know I am meant to be a mother again. So I find peace in knowing it absolutely will happen. But the waiting is truly one of the most challenging things I have felt in my adult life.
The Emotional Side of Waiting to Conceive
Every month, I grow more humbled and understanding of this very difficult process that women and their partners go through every single day. Partners also deserve praise and love because it is emotional and challenging for them too. But, I often think about the strength and courage of women going through this process and yet still showing up for their day-to-day lives, their children, and their families with grace. Women are amazing and so strong.
During this experience of trying to conceive my second child, I’ve felt so many different waves of emotion. Anger, sadness, and fear of the unknown. Spending quality time with my son, my dog, and my husband has helped me during moments of emotion and sadness.
Also, I often feel some shame for even feeling sad about not conceiving a child yet. I feel this because there are mama’s out there who have tried for years and years. I have so much compassion for the strength and patience of the mamas who have worked so hard for so long for their dream of a baby to come true.
Talking about Trying to Conceive
While good fit doctors, therapists, and medical professional teams are an incredible and necessary resource for support on the trying to conceive journey, sometimes I just wanted a hug from a family member or a vent session with a friend.
Sharing this very personal information with family or friends can come with some challenges. These are hard topics that, as a society, we often do not talk about. I have felt called to speak up with our families and friends because it can be challenging for my husband and I to go through the emotions on our own. Prayers and support from family can truly go a long way.
Supporting Women Who Are Waiting to Conceive and Beyond
This 10-month journey has inspired me to share more love and kindness towards all women. Especially those who are going through the process of trying to conceive or any related process from pregnancy loss, pregnancy in general, to postpartum. When talking about it is not easy or simple (which is totally normal by the way), we can send flowers or a sweet text message. Or we can take a friend to coffee and express support or send over some dinner.
We can do our best and get creative in the ways we can support women. Talking about trying to conceive can be hard. Women (and their partners) truly deserve so much love and support on their journey to conceive and beyond.
I’m sending a lot of love to all the mamas and their partners on this incredible yet emotional journey towards conception.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
