Don’t get me wrong; I love my career, but working 40 hours a week with two little boys at home required a few lifestyle changes. Here are a few things I’ve given up as a full-time working mom to prioritize my family.
My Night Owl Habits
I was always a night owl. I enjoyed curling up with a good book and reading into the night, binge-cleaning on a midnight whim and waking up to a clean house, and late late-night movies. My family can attest–I was NEVER a morning person. I was one of those comically bad morning people. While I’m still a bit slow to wake up (COFFEE, please!), I’m usually human by about 6:30 am. But this was completely unheard of in the first three decades of my child-free life.
Television
Before having kiddos, I kept fairly up to date on trending television series. My guilty binge pleasure was House Hunters International. Now, the last time I sat down to watch anything was a Gilmore Girls marathon while I was on maternity leave recovering from a cesarean section. I haven’t been up to date on anything for about *checks the age of oldest son* six years. Gone are the days of chatting with coworkers about the newest episode of this or that, of leisurely lounging on a Sunday while watching a football game.
That’s not to say the television is never on at our house. We love to snuggle up on the couch for a family movie. I can recite lines from Moana and The Grinch like a champ. I know the theme songs of many of my kids’ favorite shows. The Spidey and His Amazing Friends jingle slaps–amiright? But adult series are a long-gone memory. I’ll have time again for television someday, and by then, I figure I’ll know what has stood the test of time and is really worth watching.
Grocery Shopping at the Grocery Store
The only good thing to come out of the pandemic? Grocery pick-up. How did we survive without it for so long? Sometimes when I’m sitting on the couch, filling my cart, my kiddos will ask me what I’m doing. “Grocery shopping!”, I reply. Grocery shopping from my couch is something my xennial self is very impressed by. I love that it gives me more time with my kids. I’ll admit, though, that I do get a little too excited when I get to go to the real grocery store, and when I’m there, my impulse buys can be a little out of hand.
Cheap Gas
I remember driving a little bit out of my way to go to the good, cheap gas stations before I was a working mom. Especially the ones with a discount from real-life grocery shopping. Gone are the days of both. Now, I usually fill up on my way to daycare, hoping that it does not make me late. I have yet to be stranded on the side of the road with my kids *knock on wood*, but putting gas in my car can sometimes get pushed dangerously far down on my list. These days, it’s embarrassingly exciting to visit the “good” gas station before my discounts expire.
Cleaning
This was both the easiest and hardest thing to give up. I initially struggled with the cost of hiring someone to help with the scrubbing and dusting. With just one kiddo, I had a weeknight cleaning rotation that worked, but somehow, I would still find myself spending some weekends scrubbing and vacuuming and sending my partner off with my son to give me time to clean.
After two kids . . . forget about it. Besides keeping up with the day-to-day picking up and small messes, the inevitable weekend cleaning sessions started to wear on me. Resentment for my husband who was off doing something much more fun with our kids started to creep in. The cost of hiring a professional cleaner started to bother me less and less.
I had to remind myself that besides the indispensable intellectual fulfillment my work provides, the biggest perk of working full-time is the paycheck.
I finally hired a cleaning service, and it was a game-changer. Now, the scrubbing, vacuuming, and dusting are done by the pros once every two weeks while I’m at work. I still have cleaning responsibilities in between, but I have my weekends back. I get to do all of the fun weekend things; the zoo, soccer games, hikes, and cleaning day is my favorite day! There’s nothing better than walking into a clean house after a long day of work.
Privacy
I’m sure this is true for most moms, working or not, but especially on weekdays, any time available to spend with my family is spent WITH my family. Whirlwind changes from business casual to cozy sweatpants happen while catching up on the day with my first grader. Busy mornings often include my toddler kicking me off of the toilet because he has to go potty in MOMMA’S POTTY! Not the one down the hall, thank you! Sometimes I try cramming myself in my closet to change, just for a little privacy, but I often take a lack of privacy as an opportunity to teach them body positivity. “Bodies come in all shapes and sizes.” “We’re all made of the same parts, arranged in different ways” (thank you, Emily Nagoski). I figure, eventually they’ll naturally want to give me some space, but even if they don’t, they’ll know their old mom loves her body just as it is because it’s a body that grew them.
» » RELATED READ: Mixed Up Play Dough Colors & Other Things I’ve Decided to Let Go « «
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
Originally published January 2025.
