I see you. You’re at the park trying to keep your kids together. You’re at work wondering how you’re going to pick up kids, make dinner, and get to bed at a reasonable time. You’re constantly planning, organizing, and participating in your kids’ lives. It can be so easy to lose ourselves in motherhood. After all, our kids are the best! But just remember–moms are people, too!
» RELATED READ: How Not to Get Lost in New Motherhood :: Finding Your Pre-Mom Self «
When was the last time you took time for yourself? When was the last time you had an actual break? (And not a break just to clean the floors or grocery shop. A break just for you where you did what you wanted.) If you’re embarrassed by the answer because it’s just been too long, I understand. All moms do. And if you’re looking to find yourself again while also being the amazing mom you are, I have some tips for you.
1. Find (and Build) Your Village
I know we’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” But, what if you don’t live near your family? What if you’re in the military and you’re moving every three years? What if you are an introvert and you don’t know where to start? Here’s the truth: We have to build the village ourselves, brick by brick. Your village can be made of family, but it also can be:
- Child Care Providers
- Friends
- Church Community
- Our ABQ Mom Community & Conversation Group or Book Club (hey, come to one of our events!)
- Work Friends
If you’re looking for places to make friends, and friends you trust, please don’t give up. I believe in friend soulmates just as much as I believe in romantic ones!
2. Reconnect with an Old Hobby
When I became a mom, starting a new hobby felt like an impossible task. But, I was able to slowly start reconnecting with hobbies I loved before becoming a parent. Were you an athlete? A crafter? A musician? An artist? Start reconnecting with the things you love, even if it’s only once a month. You’ll find yourself feeling more and more like you!
3. Invest in Some Quality Kid-Free Time
This might be the most controversial of my tips, but hear me out! While lots of hobbies and adventures can involve your kids, I have found that kid-free time allows my brain to slow down and think. Perhaps joining a book club (another plug for ABQ Mom!), having a girls’ night out, or even just a walk around the block can help you clear your mind. I know what it’s like to have a brain so full of kid stuff that it feels impossible to turn off. But here’s the truth, kids deserve a mom who knows who she is and what she wants. Investing in some kid free time will more than likely help you to know these things too.
You’re a great mom, please don’t doubt that. You were also great before you had kids. Becoming a mom is indeed a transformative experience, but maybe instead of changing your identity of who you were before you became a mom, you can combine who you were before and who you are now.
Moms play an important part in the world, and moms are people, too!
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
