I am a cheerleading coach. In fact, coaching cheerleading has taken up the last decade of my life. It has seen me through my early twenties while I was trying to figure out womanhood. Coaching has seen me through two failed relationships, college graduation, and my first grown up job. And most recently, it has seen me become a teacher, a wife, and a mama of two. And now after 10 years, I have decided to hang up my pom poms and turn my focus completely to diapers and bottles.
Although being a cheerleading coach taught me a multitude of life lessons, it taught me most about parenting, the mom I want to be, and the sports parent I will be.
I have come up with the top five things I have learned about parenting by coaching myself.
Believe in the “Buy In”
The “buy-in” is coaches’ lingo that refers to the way a coach runs their team and each family buying into and supporting the coach’s ideas. Most coaches are very straightforward on the rules and visions of their team, some in the form of contracts, emails, or team meetings. From the very start, if a family decides that they will support the coach, the team, and the rules, it sends that message to our children. In addition, the “buy-in” from families holds student athletes accountable to uphold those standards. And they learn that even if the rules don’t fall in their favor, they know what to expect and that everyone is on the same page.
Appreciation Goes a Long Way
I’ve heard countless times that coaching is a “thankless” job. As a cheerleading coach, I’ve coached year-round with long hours and little pay. Coaches leave behind their own families and responsibilities to share their passion with their athletes. So a simple “thank you” goes a LONG way to a coach. Thank you for wanting what is best for my child. And thank you for spending time with my child. Thank you for being here and helping teach my child things I may not be able to. I wish I could say I’ve had end-of-the-year banquets filled with sweet messages from the families I’ve coached. But more often than not, this appreciation was either not shared or not there.
Communication Is Key
As adults, we don’t always see eye to eye. As parents, we like to believe that we always know what’s best for our kids. That being said, there is more than likely going to be something said or done by a coach, or what was heard was said or done, that a parent doesn’t agree with. The best way to go about a disagreement is to set up a face-to-face meeting with the coach.
Because we’re adults, we can leave all emotions at the door and come in with an open mind. As a cheerleading coach, I have had plenty of experiences when an athlete went home upset, and a parent has either gone above my head with the problem, or I’ve received a call or text that was sent by the parent out of anger. However, it has usually taken seconds of calm conversation to solve the problem and come to a common understanding. Remember, the coach is not the enemy. The coach is there to help!
Allow Your Kids to Fail; Then Build Them Back Up
From the moment we bring these sweet babies into this world, we make a promise to do whatever we can to protect them, to never let anything hurt them or make them sad. Then these babies start to turn into little adults, and we hold on to that idea. But we also know at the bottom of our hearts, they are going to need to start learning the hard lessons life is going to throw at them.
They will not always be the best at their sport. They won’t always make varsity or starting team or center flyer. Their coach will be hard on them. A good coach will hold athletes accountable when they aren’t being their best. It then turns into our job to help them get stronger from this experience. So don’t place blame or make excuses. Let them live in the raw pain for a little while. And help them overcome the obstacles so that they can become stronger adults.
It Takes a Village, and You’re All in It Together
There are always going to be bad seeds. But more often than not, these coaches love our children. And they want what’s best for them. We need coaches, and more importantly, we need GOOD coaches. We need them to help us raise our kids, to teach them things outside of our realm. We need them to show our kids adversity, how to be strong, and how to persevere. And most importantly, how to find their breaking point and how to push past it, revealing their true strength. Remember this. Remember that coach has a family. That coach is a person with feelings, and at the end of the day, all they want for our kids is the same thing we want.
We are all on the same team.
Whether your child participates in any sport, activity, or community, I believe these are all good lessons for us parents to learn and pass down to our young ones.
Have any more? Comment below!
Originally published April 2019.
