Whether you are a married mom, a single mom, or a coparenting mom, we can all agree that raising kids takes a village. As great and necessary as our villages are, having a good support system doesn’t guarantee that we will always have someone available or willing to help us for every activity or outing. When you’re faced with the options of going to a crowded event alone with the kids or staying home, it may feel much easier and safer to stay home.
But it’s a big world, and there are so many fun things to do and cool places to see. As a mom, you’re already doing one of the hardest jobs in the world. You’re amazing, and you can do anything you set your mind to!
With the holiday season coming up, there will be a lot of events taking place around town, like the Old Town Christmas Tree Lighting! If you find yourself deciding between taking the kids to an event alone or missing the event, here are a few practical tips to help you feel capable and confident in going alone.
Plan Ahead
Planning ahead sounds really obvious, and moms tend to habitually plan ahead anyway. Going to a large event with kids as the sole adult requires planning ahead x10!
Do Your Research
Knowledge is power: the more you know about the event you are attending and the location, the better you can prepare. The more prepared you are, the smoother things are likely to go when taking the kids to events alone.
Here are some things to keep on your list of research topics:
- What time does the event start, and what time does parking become available?
- What is the area around the event like? (E.g., are the streets/sidewalks wide/narrow, does the area have good quality sidewalks, is the area residential or commercial?)
- A map or layout of the event location
- What time do specific activities start, and where do they take place?
- How far is the parking lot from the activities?
It can also be helpful to make yourself a planned itinerary or route for the event if there are certain things that you or the kids really want to do or see.
Pack Your Bags
When our kids are little, we get used to carrying a diaper bag everywhere. As they get older, we tend to stop carrying the bag. When you’re going to events as a solo parent, I highly recommend taking a bag. I’ll be taking mine with us to events until my youngest is a teen, and maybe even longer. It saves time and energy to have everything together in one place, and it also helps to prevent large mishaps.
Here are a few things I always pack in my “event bag”:
- first aid kit
- baggies (to store leftover food for later instead of having to throw it away)
- plastic grocery bags (for trash or other things that may end up dirty)
- shelf-stable snacks (most places will allow these even if they say “no outside food,” and they are super important for your sanity, particularly when there are long lines to purchase food at an event)
- extra clothes (for messes or ABQ weather changes)
- baby wipes (I swear I will forever carry these for so many reasons!)
- travel pack of disinfectant wipes
- Sunscreen and bug repellent (if the event is partially or fully outdoors)
- hand sanitizer
- water bottles
Gear Up
Moms are often used to packing a stroller or wagon when going out with the kids. When going alone, there are a few extra things to consider. You’ll have to carefully think about your kids’ ages, abilities, and tolerance levels, as well as consider the event itself and the location before deciding on the right gear to take.
Here are a few examples of what gear I would take to what event and why (with my kids being 9 and 4):
- Balloon Fiesta Ascension (morning event): A wagon with blankets. While it may be a bit challenging to steer the wagon in the crowd, it’s the best way to keep the sleepy and cold kiddos comfortable with minimal effort on my part. They also have built-in seating for the event.
- Balloon Fiesta Glow (evening event): No wagon this time, just a picnic blanket! The kids will be wide awake and excited to move around. Moving through a crowd while trying to keep up with the kids’ excitement will be nearly impossible with a wagon or stroller without help from another adult. It’ll also be easier to take a parking shuttle. A picnic blanket with a good handle is easy to carry, not too heavy, and will give us a comfortable place to sit when needed.
- Boo at the Zoo (daytime event): Definitely taking the wagon. This location has good quality and wide walkways. We will also be getting a lot of stuff. I’d choose a wagon over a stroller since there will be a lot of stop-and-go, in-and-out movement that is much easier with a wagon.
- Old Town Christmas Tree Lighting (evening event): A stroller would be my go-to for this event. It’s too crowded to move around easily with a wagon, but a stroller would help me keep my youngest warm and comfortable, especially when she gets tired.
Usually, I will choose the gear I want to take before deciding on how to manage parking. You can do it the other way around, depending on what is most important to you. There are also other age-appropriate types of gear that you may consider, like tethered backpacks or baby carriers. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration, but choosing the right gear can make an event a lot more enjoyable for both the kids and you.
Managing Time
Give yourself extra time, then add extra to your extra. The biggest downside to taking the kids out alone is how much longer it takes to do everything. Everything from getting into the car to going to the bathroom will take extra time.
This is where planning makes a big difference. You’ll save time by being well prepared and having an idea of what you need to do before arriving.
Even so, make sure to leave yourself as much wiggle room as possible. Here are a few specific things to keep in mind when figuring out how to manage your time at a big event.
Parking Plans
Parking for large events is usually a pain. It can be even more overwhelming when you don’t have any help. This is where your research really matters. Knowing the layout of the parking situation will minimize stress. I value parking as close as possible when attending these kinds of events. To get the best parking I can, I’m willing to leave the house with a crazy amount of extra time.
At things like the Rail Yard Holiday Markets and the Balloon Fiesta, I’ve left over an hour earlier than I “needed” to, just to get the parking I wanted. It sounds a little crazy, but driving around trying to park is one of the most stressful parts of an outing for me. So, it’s worth it to me to leave extra early, even if that means we’re watching a movie in the car for a while before going in.
» » RELATED READ: Guide to the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta for Families « « «
Some events may also offer a park-and-ride option or have shuttles to take eventgoers from the parking lots to the entrance. Whether or not these are an option for you will depend on your kiddos and what gear you decide to bring. While it may be a little awkward, you usually can take a center-fold wagon on these types of shuttles, so keep that option in mind.
Another thing to consider is paying for premium parking. Some events offer closer parking for a higher price. Depending on the event, it may be well worth it to pay the extra for the time and energy the closer parking will save you.
No Extra Hands
Even a trip to the grocery store alone with the kids takes longer than going with another adult. When attending a large event alone, the lack of extra hands becomes even more obvious.
One kid needs the bathroom; everyone has to go. You want to buy food; you’ve got to keep the kids calm while waiting in a potentially very long line. Depending on the ages of your kids, you may also have to hold all the food items yourself (another reason a wagon can be super helpful!). There’s also no one to wait with your stuff if there are things like rides.
Honestly, this is the most daunting part of attending a large event solo. A little planning and lot of patience help a lot. Even more important is having a positive and confident mindset! It’s definitely inconvenient to have to take the whole group everywhere, especially when there are long lines and lots you want to see and do.
However, I promise that when the kids look back on those memories, they’re not going to be upset by how long it took to go to the bathroom; they’re going to remember being there, seeing new things, having fun, and spending time with you, mama.
I’ll admit it, it can be a lot. There’s a lot to think about, consider, plan for, and pay for. And it all takes a lot of time and energy.
As intimidating as it may seem, it’s not impossible to do what you’d like and have a great time doing it, even if it means doing it by yourself. You’re a mom, you do a hundred amazing things every day! You can do this, too.
