My kids are expert movers. They are military brats—meaning, their dad, my husband, is in the Army—so they’ve moved several times in their short lives. Each change is hard, emotional, exciting, and nerve-racking. But I have seven go-to tips for making moving house easier on everyone.
When we moved to New Mexico last summer, my kids were 6, almost 5, and 1.5 years old. It was my fifth move with kids, and this is my go-to plan for moving house with children, whether we’re moving across town or across the country.
Tell them early.
Some people, especially those in the military community, wait to tell their children they’re moving until every detail is finalized. I don’t.
I tell my kids as soon as we know, even though plans can change.
Kids are smart. They hear the conversations between me and my husband. They notice I’m more stressed or quieter than usual, thinking about the move ahead.
Once we have a clear idea of where we’re moving, my husband and I will tell the kids about our next location. And if that location changes, we’ll tell them that, too. It’s a lesson in flexibility for all of us.
Rarely is a move out of the blue for them, especially now that my oldest are 7 and 5 years old. They know military life means moving. If they ask about the next move before we know specifics, we say, “We will likely move this summer, but we don’t know where yet.” Or “You will for sure finish first and second grades here, but we don’t know after that.”
Involve kids in planning.
Once we know when and where we’re moving, I print off a map and help the kids plot out our road trip.
We brainstorm fun stops along the drive and draft a bucket list of activities to do at our current location before we move and people we want to say goodbye to.
This is the great free printable packet with a map, blank bucket list, and more that we use, created by a military spouse and expert mover.
We also get excited about all the amazing things to do at our future home and make a list of those activities too. It helps us focus on the adventure ahead, rather than just the grief of leaving our current home.
Gather the best moving books.
I have a trusty stack of picture books about moving and making new friends that I pull out when we start talking about the change ahead. These are my favorites:
- Moving to the Neighborhood – a Daniel Tiger board book about finding familiar things in a new place. There is also a great Daniel Tiger episode about moving called “Won’t You Be Our Neighbor?”
- Peanut Butter & Cupcake – The cutest story about new kid Peanut Butter and his quest to find a playmate
- In a Jar – A beautiful story about how two friends stay connected after one moves away
- Boomer’s Big Day – A sweet dog is confused about all the hustle and bustle on moving day, but finds something to love in his new home
- The Adventures of a Military Brat: The Big Move – Great for military kids, this book explains the ins and outs of a PCS (permanent change of station)
- Big Ernie’s New Home – A cat is hesitant about his new home, but eventually finds things to love
- Evelyn Del Rey is Moving Away – This book captures the ache of saying goodbye to good friends
- All About Friends – A nonfiction primer on what is a friend and how to be a good one
Make homemade moving books.
To better help my children understand their own story and the move ahead, I also make picture books that explain the upcoming process. The books detail how we will pack up our house, why we are moving, and what the new place will be like.
I make this book in Shutterfly, but you could use any photo book service, your computer, or even craft it with paper, photos, and staples!
I make a book for each kid with the same format, even my toddler. Then I get this printed as soon as we have a solid idea of where we’re headed, so I can include specifics about the new place. Check out this article for exact details on how I like to make my moving books!
Let kids pack.
Kids love to help, and involving them in packing helps them feel more in control of the move ahead. This is especially important when it comes to their toys, furniture, and other special items.
» RELATED READ: Dear Military Mamas (Or Anyone Creating “Home” in a Temporary Place) «
I give my kids each a large box to pack their stuffed animals in by themselves. They draw on their boxes and decorate them with stickers. I help them pack up their toys and disassemble their furniture. They help pack books, backyard toys, and other nonbreakable things too. Any time they ask to help pack, I make sure to say yes.
Create goodbye gifts for friends.
I also help the kids craft cards or little gifts for their friends before they say goodbye. Our go-tos are inexpensive photo magnets printed via Walgreens or Shutterfly. We include a photo of them and their friend(s) with the year and location.
I order copies for my kids too, and we add the magnets to the fridge at our new house. I even made a photo magnet of me and my friends, and it makes me smile every time I open the fridge and see their faces.
Photo Christmas ornaments are another great gift idea.
Plan a final farewell.
My dear friend Hannah in Kansas came up with the idea for an “intentional goodbye” for our kids before we both moved last summer. She wanted to be sure her two boys had a sense of closure on their time in Kansas and had the opportunity to officially say goodbye to friends, apart from the rush of the last day of school. Hannah hosted a little picnic with our group of prekindergarten friends, and it was a lovely celebration of the past year.
Before we drove away in our moving truck, leaving Kansas for New Mexico, our neighborhood friends also met us at the playground for a last playdate and goodbye. We moms hugged and promised to visit while the kids ran around their beloved playground one last time. Our friends watched us drive away, and we waved goodbye, offering another intentional farewell.
For young kids especially, the clear visual of driving away (or watching their friends drive away) helped solidify the abstract concept of moving and made sure our last moments were filled with love.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
