Like many of us, I cracked in 2020. Trapped home alone with a one-year-old and four-year-old and all the worries of the world. But this cracking led to a kind of waking up–to the fact that, even before the pandemic, something had been off. I was worn, deprived of meaningful adult connection, and I felt that something vital was missing for my children, too. The pandemic drove it to an extreme, but corrosive isolation had been wearing us down for some time.
When we learned we’d be parents, I knew I wanted roots and community, and I worked at it for years. We moved to the friendliest neighborhood in town. I joined the neighborhood council, the local mom’s club, and our local buy-nothing group. I created a block club. But everyone was so busy, neighbors moved often, and nobody sent their kids out to play. After all that time and energy putting down roots, I didn’t really feel rooted.
The tired adage “It takes a village” had always rung true for me, but now it sounded like an alarm bell.
And then, in a podcast, I heard someone talking about what parenting was like in a cohousing community. And that was it. I knew this was what I wanted. Several community meals a week that you don’t have to plan. Relationships with people of all generations that deepen through working and playing together and through shared meals. Children who have the freedom to roam outside, play in unstructured, creative ways, and form meaningful relationships with kids and adults outside of their immediate family.
Children in cohousing are given the gift of feeling held by more than just a weary mom. And they learn that they have purpose, too–that caring for others makes a difference.
Pre-teens and teenagers in cohousing get a greater sense of that much sought after independence and freedom, but within the safe container of community. They take on responsibilities that reflect their expanding abilities and have a plethora of trusted adults to learn from and talk to as they move through an exciting but challenging stage of development. They become a part of collaborative problem solving and group decision-making, learning to use their voice to make a difference. And they get to have so much fun (which teenagers still desperately need)! Hiking, sports, work parties, holiday and birthday celebrations, outings, retreats, game night, movie night, pool-play, talent shows, and of course common meals together usually three times a week. There’s always something going on. Friends are jealous and always wanting to come over because it’s so cool.
Kids of all ages not only have the freedom to run and play but are treated as respected and valued members of the community.
We found Cohousing ABQ online and fell in love with the people, the plans for the community, and the property right along the Rio Grande, walking distance to the Bosque and river. We took the plunge and moved to Albuquerque to help get the project done. It’s been years since that move and a lot of sweat and hard work, but it is, finally, happening.
Our vision realized! Move-in starts late this year.
Our land is cleared, utilities are in, construction is scheduled to start in May, and homes and our common house (community center) will be completed from December through May 2026. The community will have 25 homes, 23 of which have already been sold. Still available are one three-bedroom home and one four-bedroom home, for a short time longer reserved for families with children.
If any of this appeals to you, check out Cohousing ABQ to learn more. Read about current members. Better yet, sign up for an upcoming Meet and Greet Zoom event. Who knows? This might just be the village you and your family have been longing for!
About Our Guest Writer: Janey Williams
Janey is proud mom to two sweet boys (who are stoked about cohousing). She is the creator of acclaimed podcast This Happened and has spent her life thinking about the interplay between culture and well-being through academic study, social theater practices, and a decade living abroad in five different countries. She is currently finishing a master’s degree in clinical counseling and looks forward to cohousing move-in day and the opportunity to live in a way that is more connected–to each other and to the land.
